image borrowed from: http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1100/1344605401_9641e34cd9.jpg

This one time, I had a customer from hell. At the "Restaurant," we call these kind of folks “high maintenance.” This term is deemed on those who have food allergies, (like one of our regulars, who was allergic to practically everything except salmon and lemons), a desperate desire for water without ice and lemon, a need for a double cushion under their well fed bodies, extra bread, the list goes on. Well, this young girl was with her parents, and she wanted a burger. I mean, really, why go to a higher-end nice restaurant if you want a burger. Well, here’s how the conversation went:

HM Girl (that’s “High Maintenance” Girl): I’ll have the burger… with fries.

Waitress (that’s me!): Okay! Well, the burger comes with a salad or soup, we don't have fries. (suppress eye roll)

HM Girl (huff, extremely annoyed): Fine, I’ll have soup… French onion.

Waitress (thinking: seriously? Why would you assume we have French onion soup??): Oh, I’m sorry, our soups are actually Tomato Basil Florentine or Cream of Asparagus.

HM Girl: Fine, I’ll have the salad, with ranch dressing.

Waitress (thinking: shit): Our dressings are Garlic Mediterranean, Blue Cheese or Balsamic Vinegar and Olive Oil.

HM Girl (Sighs, supremely annoyed, looks at Mom for help, poor thing. Then, says with disdain): Garlic Mediterranean then.

Waitress: Perfect. Would you like anything to drink?

HM Girl: Pepsi

Waitress (dammit): We have Coke, is that okay? (smiles)

HM Girl (Blaming me that we don't have Pepsi): Fine. Whatever.

Not only were customers annoying or picky though. They were sometimes utterly disrespectful and oftentimes offensive.