With research, and knowledge of personal experience, I have found an obviously unequal power distribution between server and customer. For example, I was trained as a server to introduce myself to each table, telling them my first name. This was supposed to aid in their good treatment as a customer of the "Restaurant." However, this gave them much power over me during their stay there. It was absolutely out of the question to ask a customer's name, but completely appropriate for them to know me. They now had the ability to call out my name when they needed something, even if I was in the middle of another task (which I assure you, there were always an over-abundance of extra things to do.) They could also complain about me to themselves, or to my manager or worse, to my boss. They had my name to black mail me, intimidate me, and call on me as often as I wanted. But I did not know their name. It was at once a“…one-sided, first-name-based relationship with a nameless restaurant patron” [1]. They had power over me, but I was only able to call them "sir" or "ma'am" in the events of sticking up for myself.

One evening, I was serving in an in-door section, and had to walk through another server's section to arrive in mine. As I walked by, I heard a throat clear:

male customer (huge jerk): Um, excuse me, can we get some bread?? (Their food had arrived, and I guess their server had forgotten bread)

Waitress (that's me): Oh of course! I'll be right back. (We help each other out, even if each other's customers are huge jerks-- like this one)

(I return, with bread, and smiling, set it down on the table. I turn to leave--as I have customers of my own-- but...)

male customer: BUTTER???? (said with the most offended face, and an upturned hand, like I am a huge idiot)

Waitress: Oh, of course. I'll be right back. (I return with the butter and set it down silently. He of course, does not thank me. I want so bad to scream: "Look, buddy, I'm not your slave. I'm not even your fucking waitress. So screw you!!" But of course, I don't).

In later speculation, I realized, he probably thought I was his waitress. But it was still no reason to treat me so disrespectfully. We are all women, wearing the same uniform and green apron. In further speculation, it is completely rude and degrading that he thought I was his waitress. Did he not even look at his server in the eye when she took his order? Was she just a faceless object to carry out his wishes? This actually would often happen in the "Restaurant"-- customers not even regarding their servers as human beings, but as servants. They didn't even know what we looked like.