The dictionary definition of a son is quite simple: a male child or person in relation to his parents. However a son is so much more than that. Most men hold the belief that a son should assist and protect the family in the absence of his father. This belief quickly becomes overwhelming with the great possibility that a son will have to soon fulfill the shoes of his father in the face of cancer.

As a young boy, a close friend was faced with any child’s worst nightmare: his dad’s diagnosis of prostate cancer. Although at the tender age of six, the naivety that came with Henry’s age protected him from knowing how devastating cancer truly is. It was not until four years later when his mom was diagnosed with breast cancer that Henry was able to more fully realize what it meant to have cancer. As if having both his mother and father diagnosed with one of the deadliest diseases before he was a teenager was not enough, three years later, his mother was diagnosed for the second time with breast cancer. By the third diagnosis, Henry was fully aware of how precious life and family are. He agreed with this mentality of sons protecting their families upon saying, “I also grew to feel like I was the one that had to protect my family from anything bad.”

Throughout this progression of illness in his family, Henry had to find ways to occupy his mind and cope with his fear. He once told me, “With my mom, I remember the only thing I could do was try to distract myself.  Sports were a major influence. As well as weightlifting.  I thought I had to try to be strong because I knew I had to support my mother.” This mentality of the son providing strength and support to the family inhabited Henry’s everyday life. To this day, Henry spends many hours each day at the gym and playing multiple sports, which serve not only as ways of expelling his emotions, but also exemplifies the ways in which he believes he has to step in as another strong, supporting male figure.

One of the most difficult things that Henry, along with any other youth, had to deal with was uncertainty. “I never knew if my parents were ever being straight up with me because they wanted to protect my sister and I from the truth.  I never knew if she was never going to wake up after her naps from chemo or if she would make it through the surgeries.  It was not until later in high school that I found out, she was really not supposed to live.” Cancer itself is a very uncertain disease. It breaks my heart to see how deeply Henry’s parents’ battles with cancer affected his life  at such a young age; however, the emotional and physical strength that his experiences instilled in him at such a young age is something to be immensely admired and respected.  

Direct quotes borrowed from interview. (Name was changed)